Hubster Brag

May I brag about this hottie. Mkay I will. This man and I will be married for 15 years come this November. I do not believe I have ever loved him this fiercely like I do today.  In fact if you gave me a glance of what we would look like this day even last year. I would call you a lier.  This last year has been tough tough as nails, for us. We took our faith to the mattress. From the Godfather people, get your minds out of the gutter. Needless to say its been.  This man has broken through dark areas in his own faith walk and has come in full 360 strides to being the man I know he is to be.  This last few months has brought us even closer and I am am so thankful for him. He has won major with me, here is why....
    TOTAL BROWNIE POINTS
1. He sent me to College. Its been a dream for a while, He pushed me out the door and said "go get em!"
2. He took up the laundry in our house...Yes Mam. He conquered..
3. He worked a full days job and came home and put on his dad hat without haste. He was ready to go.
4. He never judged me after spending and entire day making grub for 450 hungry school children and not wanting to come home to make dinner again. He said "make anything or I will pick up a pizza. no sweet"
5. When I cried about not being able to do this, He said" Yes you can, Yes you can!"
6. He loved me fiercely back. Kind eyes, sweet spirit. Tender.
7. He prayed for me, He anointed our home weekly.
8. He made me snacks to my side when my face was in a book.
9. He was patient
10....MY PERSONAL FAVORITE...
    Chief has been feeling a calling to the men of adopted families. He says there is so much encourgement available to women. Then men need to rise up and come together and be encouraged and there needs to be a place for this. Being the good wife :) I said "Do something!" He did Chief started a facebook group that is 227 strong men. Men that Love adoption, Men that take James 1:27 seriously and want to take a stand for the fatherless. Its a place for dads of adopted families to share encouragement and challenges they have as fathers that lead their families in a way that is honoring to Christ. He calls it FightClub 127. If your hubbies are interested look him up, it private and there is a screening.  BUT they are awesome guys there.
     So, yeah I am proud of him, I adore him and I am blessed BIG TIME! :)

Why hello there!

I break this social fast to bring you some updates on the Tribe. I have taken a sabbatical from blogging. Many reasons, the first would be time. It takes time to sit and blog. Time was something that this season left me very short of.  In January I started my first semester of College. I also accepted a part time job working 20 hours a week during the kids school days. I worked came home, helped kids with homework, prepared dinner *MAYBE* then dashed to school two nights a week and a full day on Friday.  So, I was NOT home, leaving behind a big mess that my Mr.Chief putt his super dad hat and took on more responsibility that he ever had to. It was a much different life than this mama is accustomed to. For almost 10 years give or take a few mini side jobs I was a stay at home mom, was full time devoted to my families needs and wants and schedules and helped at kids schools and made cute teacher gifts, and had dinners planned and things were just harmonious when I was at home. sorta. 


Cut to this year where going to school became a reality but so did needing to work. This week was my last week of school and I am a walking zombie. My body hurts, my head hurts. my lesson learned. I learned that I can not give 100% to all responsibilities I was participating in. I would give more to one and the other would suffer.  The last thing I want is to gamble on my family.  This is the most important thing in my life. I learned that I may not repeat this again. I CAN.NOT.DO.IT.
  
  SO next year will look different.


      I will come back soon. maybe.

Whats on your mind?: SOCIAL MEDIA

I have been involved in the world of social media for maybe 10 years now. Rewind to the days of MySpace, it was the beginning of what we now have now Social Media overload. I joined Facebook on February 11 2008, don't think I am a freak people the only reason I know this exact dates is because of Facebook's new timeline. It was a great way to keep in contact with my relatives that lived far away, connect with friends locally and globally and a way to stay involved with a big crowd at the same time, without over committing your life. Its been a blessing and a curse all at the same time. Some of you may agree some of you may not. Let me give you my thoughts on it.

Awesome things of Social Media:

1. You can give a bit of information to a huge load of people in just one status update in seconds. Ex: "Everyone please pray right now, my dad had a heart attack, I need masses praying now!" Prayer request gets down the line, fast.

2. Sometimes asking a question can you you faster information with quick dialogue faster that google or even calling your doctor. EX: "My son just woke up with a mild rash around his lip, what can this be? Within minutes you may even have a diagnosis and a cure!

3. You can stay updated on causes and organizations you "like", and stay informed.

4. You can probably get a faster news feed on Facebook than the actual news. I found out on Facebook about plenty of world news before I saw it on the local news. The death of Osama, the earthquake in Japan, the verdict of Casey Anthony.

5. Stay connected with friends you have not seen or heard from in a long time. I have been been reunited with so many friends and family members that I have not heard from. Finding them and being involved even though reading their status makes you feel connected with them in a way.

6.Advocating and being a voice for people that do not have the opportunity to be heard. Sometimes just seeing a need posted people are moved to take action, or to even sharing the need someone else takes action and so forth more like a domino affect to where awesome things happen. A child gets adopted, a family gets sponsored a need in the community is meet.

And here it is, the not so Awesome! I am not self righteous or judging I have fallen into some of these categories myself.

1. Putting too much information on social media gives permission for others to be critical of your life and judgey. Trust me, bloggers will agree that having a written word on their lives out in the internet world has invited way to many unwanted advice. Its like having a pregnant belly where everyone wants to touch and give you motherly advice when you didn't ask for it. If you want your life private you may not want to blog or even have an active facebook.

2. If you are insecure facebook will make you even more insecure or if you are not it may make you. Let me explain. We post photos of our families we post and tag photos of people we hung out with, or tag "was with" so and so. What happens when you see two of your friends in a photo at a concert or dinner and you had no idea they were going out....without you...What happens? Or families post photos of their lives being all "happy" and wonderful. If you are going through a hard time, what happens, you sink into a pit of despair thinking everyone is enjoying life and you are not.

3.Gossip, can start fast and spin way out of control before you can delete your status. Once a word in out you can not take it back, the word is out. Its in the air, its been read and well just because you delete it does not mean it didn't happen or was said.

4. We can get stuck in the "like" button. For example I can post a photo or a status and can have one ''like" or" comment", I begin to second guess my status. Seriously you know you do it too, do not even think I am on my own here.

5. Inappropriate friendships. You are just one click away from temptation. We are all vulnerable one time of another of our lives. If you guard is down, temptation can begin with simple "liking" and then well....not good.

6.Fundraising overload. Here is what I mean. For advocate and orphan junkie *I mean that with love* like myself, Its hard to see a link to a blog for a family pleading for money to bring home their babies and not share. I was one of the first families on the uprising of the Facebook fundraising. Many children come home and adoptions are funded through fundraising. In fact most of our fundraising were donations by strangers. I know I sound like a meanie, but if I do not know you, if we have not shared in your journey to your children I may not share your link on my page. Just my rule. Its too overwhelming to keep up with. I don't know do I sound like a brat, I really don't mean to be. I love Orphan care and adoption, but really I have also shared a couple of links for children that were never sponsored, or families NOT adopting in the first place (like a fake family...yes!)

7. It can give us a false sense of community. I have almost 900 friends, there are days when I feel like I am alone. Everyone is just one click away. We use it as an excuse to not have a need to form community. We have a major sense of community funtion in a cyber world and dysfunction in the realistic community we live in.

8. Some things are not what they seem. Do not be fooled some of us write status of how happy go lucky and wonderful our lives are and never share the realness of the yuckyness in our lives. Giving everyone a "but they look so happy" "she never complains" "she must be a strong Christian" when in the inside we can be breaking and our heart can be shattering. You know what happens then? We then to tend to think we are the ones that don't have it all together. Don't let it fool you people. Life can stink for everyone, at some point.

9. Slander. We can slander each other by the opinions we have, fast. It can be hurtful and cause hurt feelings. Even in the "just being honest" b.s. I see it all the time on status about politics and religion.

10. Someone can be a real BEaaachhh on facebook and be a true jem in real life, and they other way around. Goes with # 8 some people are not what they seem always on social media.

11. We can get so caught up on our next status we miss the in-betweens. Yes Facebook can be utterly consuming. You have the ability to read everyone status an a news feed, who went to what store, what so and so''s kid said, and the hidden innuendos of so and so's status. You know the status where someone just post all these scriptures but no status updates but the scriptures are really and inclination that they are going through tough times. AGAIN BEEN GUILTY OF ALL SAID. I know for me its been such a time waster that I have missed out on conversations with living souls in front of me because I have been busy reading and commenting etc., sharing and over sharing.

12. It can be your go to instead of prayer. I have a need, Facebook it. I have a thought, Facebook it. I have a question, Facebook it. I have used it as my Bible. I am not the only one right?

So as you see there are plenty of not so awesome compared to the awesome things of social media. I have had the conviction to get off, for a bit. This week I have been status free! :) Well except for when I hacked chiefs open page on his status, and shared my blog post. God is keeping my heart in check it was not in the right place at the moment. Its been freeing actually to bend my knee when I have a concern or even for the happy moments. Not sure when I will return to good old FB, I had the thought of just maybe taking the week off and going on the weekends, but not really missing it at the moment. Either..

*Watch me check to see of anyone..."Likes" my status update* :)

I am College mama

Guess what I am doing? I am going to College baby! For the last few years I have had a tugging on my heart to go to school. Chief and I got married very young. I was 18 , no joke, I was a baby! If my kids told me they were going to get married at 18, I would freak! I bet our moms did to ;0. Then we had babies, and babies and babies, Chief had landed a great job and we just made it as me being a home mom. I loved the days I was home with my babies, I have very fond memories. I do not regret that for one moment. I wish I could turn back the clock and not worry so much, or not fret about small stuff. Then our lives changed when our eyes were open to the needs globally and even locally. My passion was lit, and I become an advocate. I LOVE advocating for the needs of children, and the unjust. Its something that fuels me. Fast forward to a year ago.

When we moved to GA and I needed to get a job, and began to look. I realized fast how not having an education had affected my chances to 1. Land a job 2. Land a career that I LOVE.

Chief and I began to chat about options for the future. We have five kids we want to but through school, we do not ever want them to think money is an option of why they can not go. I wont be a home mom forever, I can not keep making babies..sniff sniff.

PLUS, I do think God has big plans to use me for. I was nervous but my drive was also fueled by my oldest son, who kept saying to me. "You tell us we can do anything we set our mind to, you want to go to college, you should go!"

One year later, I was accepted into a University 20 mins away. This is my second week at school. I LOVE IT. I LOVE IT, I LOVE IT! Currently I am working, and taking three classes and yes raising five kids. Its a work load for sure.

I always thought when I was 32 I would finally know what I will do and be more grounded in what I believe and really what I want to do when I grow up. Friends, I am happy to report I AM! So I am taking courses to get me into my major of Human Services and my big BIG dreams is to work for Wold Vision or/and Work for a non-profit of victims of Child/sex trafficking.

Big dreams, I love People, I love the command to set captives free and I know its not just meaning captives of hearts but literally to set them free from the injustice that holds them in cages and chains literally as well as emotionally. Its a command, simple.

Friends have asked me if I feel young again. I think I just feel grounded, I feel secured in who I am confident and empowered, and proud of myself. My family is proud of me.I can not imagine me feeling this at 18-21 going into school. I am excited for the future plans, but hope that I can ENDURE this long journey. I can do all things through Christ, I can do all things, I can do all things.! Excuse me while I go turn the laundry, make some lunch and finish my stinking math homework :)

WORD

I meet an amazing woman , that just in the last few weeks have challenged my Christ walk. A week ago she challenged me to seek a Word pray and ask God to give me one word that would represent my life for this new year. One word to stand on, when things come undone, when I feel like giving up, or feel discouraged. One word. I loved the challenge. I began to seek pray, read, many many words came to me, none felt like the "word". Yesterday I got it, the WORD. I just knew it, in my prayer time I sense the need to read James 1. I asked Chief to do the same and told him I won't give him my word unless he told me his. I just didn't want to add another word to the mix. Secretly I was HOPING big time that God would bring us to the same word. In my spiritual fantasy life :)

Last night we sat down and ate dinner, together. I said "hurry up, I want to share my word with you hurry up and get your word!" He said "Its been tough I have been at work and really only one or two words come to mind its not very encouraging its very challenging!" me "Ekks, just TELL ME!"

When he formed his lips I knew what was coming, its a word I had been dwelling on all day.

He finished it, IT was MY WORD. Here it is folks the word we both got is "ENDURANCE"

James 1:2 Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, g knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. 4 And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing!

So I suppose we needed more testing until the day where we can say we Need Nothing More but Jesus, is that even possible to get to? Holy smokes what is going to happen this year, I don't desire any more change or even earth shaking anythings?! Halleljuah and hail Mary. Sweet Lord, brace yourselves. I just know we seve an Awesome God that would bring one word to both of us to help us keep going, past the part where we feel done.

Do it, you pray and get a word for you year, it will encourage you, it really will!

HO HO HO Ya'll!

HO HO Ya'LL!

Different Christmas INDEED

J-Man trying on his new Roller Blades he picked out at Target spree shop
Little E bought me these beautiful earrings, love his heart!


I posted earlier about how different this Christmas will be for our family. How its been a rough reality, but we are just going to suck it up and do it. We decided early on that we can not give to each other or anyone else really, not even to teachers, or staff, or even to our favorite charities. We just can't. Then some school letters came home, you know the ones that ask you to give if you can to the stars on the tree, or the angels for families in need. I wanted to, oh I so wanted to! Then I got a special letter a personalized letter asking our family if we need any assistance this year. gulp. US? We were the ones that signed up to get gifts usually, or to donate etc. We were part of groups and churches that adopted families that needed help. It was something we have enjoyed for years, and now we were being asked if we needed the help!? This year the letter was coming home for OUR family. It was humbling, and to be very honest I was so sad that the tables were turn and we were that family in the situation. I filled out the sheets they asked for the kids the wish list. Turned it in, still having a hard time with my pride.
Then another letter came in from our school, our kids were selected to go on a "Shop with A Buccaneer"No kidding get this. The sister High school near our kids school set up an entire day where they match a few teens with each student as a chaperons, feed the kids breakfast at the school then with thier schaperones they all go on the bus for a ride to Target where each kid is set up with a $100 Target giftcard for them to spend tax free. Drive them back to school and feed the kids lunch. We were thinking it would be a blast for them. So, we decided not to let our prides keep them from a fun time.
THEN, I wake up one morning to the BEST surprise I had a friend give us a $250 Amazing gift Card. Oh sweet Lord, We were blessed!!
THEN, J-man filled out a card for free bikes from a local church providing bikes for the kids in our community. ALL OUR kids except Roo got one, a friend called me the other day and told me she has a tiny bike that her little one can not ride do I want it? YES!
If it was not for the above we would not have Christmas. I know, do I sound like I am playing the worlds smallest violin.
NOW this one will blow you away. Here it goes.
I was spent on cash. Cookies, here for class parties, little cash here for more class parites etc. etc. and more etc. I was out of cash till pay day. Come on, I know some of you can relate. Little E needed a strand of 20 lights for a class project. Went to Walmart, went to Target, went to the dollar store, and by the time I found out where to get the lights. Cash out. So needless to say I knew little E would go to school without his 20 strand of lights. I began to pray, let me back up. Little E has big faith, BIG faith in me, to supply his needs. THIS was so hard to work on, I was so sad I would let him down, he had been waiting for the lights. So, this is why I began to pray. Lord, just $10 bucks till Friday, PLEASE! The day passed, well I was waiting for a refund check, or you know some kind of rebate in the mail...nothing. Little E was just going to have to be disappointed.
We went to dinner at my folks, My mom is so awesome she has us come over for dinner once a week. Gives me a night off. We come home and see a tree on our door step. We were not expecting a tree. We brought the tree inside and saw it was loaded with gift cards. OUR kids were ecstatic! $250 in Gift Certificates for Groceries and Walmart.
Here is the best part. On the tree and I told no one about the lights there were two strands of 20 lights. ON THE TREE!
SO, We get to shop for fun things for the kids AND get our Christmas dinner supplies AND little E will get his strand of lights.
Did I mention my parents GAVE me their van?! Yes. They upgraded and decided to give us the title of their minivan. We are now the proud owners of two cash cars!

I checked with Chief about writing this post, he is the provider and I never want him to feel like he doesn't provide for us or can not. We are in a sticky situation and really praying and seeking a way out. For now, this is the situation we are in, we are trying to make the best of it, while staying out of dept and working on being content with where God has us at the moment (forced smile.) He knows I believe in him as the provider and that I cherish his hard work. He also knows that the Lord provides through his people. He uses and has used us plenty of times as a vehicle in those provisions and sometimes we become the recipient of that provision. Friends, this is just the beauty of the body! Merry Christmas. I know we are having one! Praying that next year things may look diffrent and we can be the ones blessing you!