All around bad couple of weeks!!

I know my last post I was on a everything is going awesome high and now not so much. We are seriously struggling with some things. This one will be completely open because I have found with the couple of people I have shared this heart with they have also felt just the same. I struggle with feeling lonely. I know what your thinking you think and I do have some really awesome close friends (I DO!) however I find myself longing for community. Before Africa, I was selfish I wanted to be the popular girl that everyone wanted around because I was so funny! Well I am... funny that is! I wanted a bigger house (got it), wanted and felt like people should respect me and I shared my hurts openly if you did hurt me you would know about it. YUCK, that girl right now is so far from who I am today. Today even though I am 100% different the same feelings come back wanting to be wanted, wanting to be loved wanting the community of people surrounded that I long for. So this is what my community looks like don't laugh. People that go to each others houses for dinner about once a week, laugh, take care of one another needs, have family bon fires, and there is no yucky stuff. Like competition or wondering if you and so and so are still friends because all of a sudden there is some odd distance and your left wondering what your last words were to them, beating yourself up about what it was that you could have said. I hate that!
Oh did I mention my small community also does themed dinners? Yeah, anyone want to join? :) The sad part is that everyone (us too) are so darn busy that community gets tossed aside and sometimes one way or another we all feel the distance feeling of being all alone even within a community.
#2. I am numbering my issues: MY BOYS!
They were both diagnosed with Sensory Processing disorder the beginning of the year. We have been in therapy and my youngest has gotten worse. Tantrums are longer than 10 minutes and they become very violent in rage and very uncontrolled their are a few other things but we are beginning to think there is something else. We have gone to a Nutritionist, Neurologist and now a Psychiatrist We are sticking with the psychiatrist I think we will get our help there. But in the meanwhile its like walking on egg shells and its not fun not for him and not for us. But we are choosing to just lift him up in prayer and keep up treatment.
Boy number 1 is going through some Major social things as well, I can not share on the blog I want to respect him, but its VERY hard to see him go through. We believe he has so much hurt from loosing his little brother that comes out every know and then and right now its really popping its head. It can be and is very draining at times.
3. BILLS!! Yeah so I need two root canals done guess how much I will have to pay no guess really....$1000 ouch. They were first telling me it will be 4000 and I about passed out. SO I have separated one tooth at this month and one tooth next year (January) to maximize the medical benefits. They just keep piling in seriously!

Silver Linings:
1. Found out that I am not the only one feeling the loneliness its out there!
2. My Boys are healthy they have healthy hearts and lungs that's amazing right there!
3. God has brought us some amazing supporters this month for our adoption so we are able to but it in savings for our travel!

All around great couple of weeks

You ever have a week that's just plain terrible nothing good happens that week and so you are searching to find the sun through the clouds extra harder? These two weeks have been so amazing, I am guarding for the bad like looking for the black cat, cause maybe its to good.
So here are a few awesomeness from the week last week:
1. Got a call from our kids in Ghana! You read that right! My friend Darren who I meet his family through face book was on a trip to Ghana working with orphanages and trying to involve churches to foster care, great things. He told me he would be visiting the kids house in Accra. Then on Wednesday at 4:30 am he called because he was right next to them and but them on the phone.
I remember my heart stopping when I heard my friend say ''They are calling you Mom and Dad!''
Then I hear this little voice ''Ello mammi ello daddy, God Bless you, I love you mammi daddy'' this was both their voices to us. We didn't say much to them we knew it was fast and we had to get off really soon.
2. Got pictures from our kids opening the welcome bags we sent them with our T-shirts.
Priceless look on there faces, pure bliss! This was the day they told them there wait for a family is over.
3. Got a nice card in the mail with a donation for our adoption. This is huge to me, because I know how hard it is now a days to give financially but this family gave in faith and we are so blow away by that.
4. We got a confirmed that my husbands adoption fund for work will not change so that means that more than half our adoption expenses that mean we only need to raise about 4,500-5,000 for travel that's all!! Okay that's not at all including the cost of the kids rooms and wardrobe but Good will baby! The adoption fund at his work was something we were concerned with because we didn't know if they would change things for the following year because they are changing many benefits so we were so scared this was going to affect our adoption. They way it works is we have to spend it first and then when the adoption is final they we submit documents and wait.
5. We got our kids passports normally this can slow down the Ghana adoption process by months two families I know have had to wait from February or March till October for passports. So this is HUGE!
6. I got to win something huge. I never win anything! A friend tipped me off on this amazing photographer and I was just captured so much by her writing and her images that I read her photography blog up and down and sideways :). I noticed she and her husband put on conferences around the states to help women find there confidence behind the lens I read all about the conference and decided I want to go, I have to! Then I added it the cart, but noticed the price tag (so worth it!) however I could not fork out the money at this time at all. Bummed, I kept reading and one day I saw a post on her blog about nominating a mom running on empty and this mom could go for FREE to the conference. Hmm..ME! I will nominate myself its a long shot. Many of you wrote very touching things about me as well. And I WON! I get to go this weekend and partake in a teaching conference with other wonderful photographers and get to meet MeRa herself. I cant even wait!! The best part we get to do real live photoshoots, WAhOO!

New venture

I am excited to announce my new venture on my new found love, photography. I have practiced and attended classes and now I am ready to put my camera to good use. If you are in the Olympia area look at my photography blog I would love to capture your family being you!
We are calling it Ruby Love photography (go figure!)

The paper work is all done...and in Ghana right now!

I know what this looks like he is so annoyed, Yes he was because there are tons of things to sign when you are doing your adoption paperwork.

Sign here and here and here and there and don't forget here.

And this is what my face looks like with some of the questions. I am happy to report. That our dossier was hand delivered to Ghana by a wonderful adoptive family. So we have a huge weight lifted. Next week the kids are also notified they have a family for them. They will get a package also hand delivered by a family that has small toys we all picked for them as a family and a letter telling them about us along with a photo album and two new shirts. Scroll down to see them. We are excited to hurry up and wait again. This can take a few months. We don't even think about the kids coming home until almost the beginning of the summer. Ahh the wait.

Teabo Trouble and Terrific things too

Seems like life happens so fast I hardly get a chance to document the terrible and terrific things so here are a few from our week....Terrible: Our little stinker six year old rode in an ambulance with me, after slicing his finger pretty bad. He had snuck knife from my cutting board to cut a tree. Yes we have told him 100xs do not play with knife you will take your finger off....this is my kid that just has to learn the very hard way!

Terrific: Ruby and I baked our first loaf of bread. This is huge for me I spend so many hours in my grandmothers kitchen and wanted girls to help this way to. Its silly but I love it!

Terrific: My son reads a book a day. I have to shrug his shoulders to get him out of book world to come eat. This was in his back back the other day yes...all of it!

Terrific:We sent out our packages to our Ghanaian kids. They packages well let them know they have a family waiting for them. They will be hand delivered next week, then they will know.

Terrific: We lost two teeth in the same week. Love the toothless grins!

Adoption-Not for the faint of heart

I have heard people say this before and I even googled this phrase to see what will come up. I have read blogs on my google search as well as quotes that share the joys as well as the hardships of adoption. Seriously what does this phrase even mean?

What has been the biggest hardship this far? I'm gonna say the reaction we get when we tell some families and just a few friends (really most of our friends the ones that really know us know this is God, a few family members as well...you know who you are!)

Its been challenging to get the sighs on the phone or the lack of support by just being silent. When we got our referral I wanted to shout it from the roof tops and share it with everyone, yet I didn't feel like that would be the case with a few. God has shown me time and time again that I do not need the approval of others in what He has called us to do. He told us He has things for us that people would think we have lost our minds. I'm sure some do.

A few months ago I was struggling with what I knew God was asking and what I knew people would say or not say and that we probably would not get a pat on the back from every single person we told.

He also showed me the sin in that desire to need that from people. The more I pushed away the feeling and command He has for us, the more I had turmoil in my heart an unsettling.

Someone asked me if perhaps it could be discontent in just being happy with what I have three kids . To which I began to pray about and He began to reveal to me that I will never get a peace in my heart until I jumped out in faith to what He has. WE DID, still with tons of fear or the unknown.

The greatest joy so far?

But today hands down I know we are in His will right in the center. I feel joyful even when discouragement may be at my gate. I feel thrilled that My Father is pleased with me! I know that on the other end of the earth two kids that pray for a family is getting their sweet prayers answered by a loving God. A big joy, that my children at home are learning the Fathers heart for Orphans as our family is an example of His hands and feet to answer the call. They get to see parents who walk in Gods way regardless of what others say and regardless of the cost.

God and His Perfect Timing!!

http://theteabotribe.blogspot.com/2008/02/broken-for-africa.html

Reading a post I wrote back in February of 2008 its amazing to see where God has taken us from that still small whisper to a loud beckoning to where we are right now. With our first few steps of obedience, He has brought us to Africa again and again. I look back at that time frame when there was that nudging that we are not done if Africa. February 2008 ,where were the kids lives at this time G (our now 7 year old from Ghana) just turned 5 in that month and E (new son who is now 3) was just turned a year. God had already been at work in a heart seas away that would one day learn about them.
I sit here and think...I could have pushed that desire or yearning out of my life. Because I was a busy mom (HELLO I AM A BUSY MOM!) I could have said let the missionaries take care of this, my husband could have sent me to fly a kite. There were time trust me I thought I had gone insane! At that moment we didn't know God would grow our family by two more, we just knew He wanted us to still be praying for Africa and for me to be involved with something somewhere.

That yearning lead me to a trip in December of 2008 to South Africa, our kids were already at E House the orphanage. The trip to Africa lead me to an open heart to adoption outside of Ethiopia. We started looking at other countries that lead us to Rwanda, Rwanda lead us to the possibilities of siblings when we were praying about a sibling set of three girls that fell big time through the cracks. That lead us to Ghana that lead us to the kids we will have joining the family.
Why didn't God just say ''HELLO YOUR KIDS ARE IN GHANA?" Why all the chess moves as I like to call it. Why the side roads and not the straight path?
The same day I started looking at photos of the kids in E house Ghana (August 6)I happened to see this little chubby cheeked face child that I acquired about and Anita the Ghana Coordinator for AAI said Oh they became available today! They? Then she began to tell me a little bit about his older sister. I did not want to even get my heart out there again to fall in love with kids that would not be mine...not thanks not again!
As I look back at the kids that I thought were ours Themba from South Africa, the loli-pop girls from Rwanda, I see God had me praying for them because He has other plans for them and I was a mothers heart pouring out prayers for them fervently when maybe no one else was or maybe not as mothers heart.
Why the kids just became available that same day I found that sweet face and they were there for a while, I don't know I am just amazed at God and His timing.
The kids had been placed on the waiting kids list because the other parents waiting on referrals the ages did not fit well for thier family. We could not place a ''hold'' on them until our home study was written and approved, it was a nice short wait ;)! But I had peace, that God knew and He would grow my heart fonder of these children, He so did!

Is it just me or does this just knock your sock off! It sure does me! I LOVE YOU JESUS!!